Do What Hasn't Been Done
Topic: building business
The Vermont Department of Mental Health puts out a quarterly newspaper. In it was an advertisement for essays of "personal account", which would then be published in a medical journal called, "Psychiatric Services". So, if people want to write about their life experience with mental illness, their stories would be of value to people who treat the mentally ill. The address of a Doctor in the medical education department at the University of Massachusetts was included in the advertisement. This magazine is for professionals. On their on-line archive, their articles have such titles as, "Symptoms and Deviant Behavior Among Eight-Year-Olds as Predictors of Referral for Psychiatric Evaluation by Age 12", and "Risk Factors for Psychosocial Dysfunction Among Enrollees in the State Children's Health Insurance Program." The readers of this magazine no doubt have developed excellent abstract cognitive skills. Probably what the educated reader is searching for in this magazine is an improved theory of mind. A theory of how the mind works could be the most important tool they need.
My SCORE adviser, Mr. Lewis, thought that it would be excellent work experience for me to answer the ad, and see if I could get an essay published in this magazine. I don't know what SCORE stands for. But the best way to describe them is that they are an association of retired businessmen who help mentor people looking to start their own business.
His proposed project made good sense. It was a suggestion rather like "Lets have you jump into the deep end of a swimming pool and see if you can swim." My abilities are an unknown thing, most certainly to him, and because I lack experience with society-at-large, I am unknown even to myself. For our first meeting I had come prepared with a list of sources to answer a tough question that Mr. Lewis had asked doing a phone call.
"What have people with your illness done?"
I know, that if anyone wants to do some library research, then they can find a world out there of schizophrenic persons reflected in statistics of work, disability, and recovery. But then there is also my world, and the sick people who I know. Some schizophrenics are my predecessors, and some still help to guide me. I have several heroes. Others give me warning, for in their lives I can see some of the different hells that are open for me too to attend. It is a point of pride for any schizophrenic when they develop savvy skills about taking care of their illness.
On my list of achievers are the the schizophrenic artists Ken Grimes and Aaron Holliday. The above drawing of the twin mermaids is a work by Aaron Holliday. The large scale acrylic painting below is called "We Must Have A Common Matching Spirituality" by Ken Grimes. The artists are both represented by the esteemed New York City gallery, Ricco and Maresca. Long before I found out who Grimes and Holliday were, I had read and re-read the library book, "American Self-Taught- Paintings and Drawing by Outsider Artists", by Frank Maresca and Roger Ricco. It is these two passionate collectors and sellers of unusual art who I first heard say, loud and clear, "the strange is beautiful." In fact, it is true that their book gave me permission to be a sick artist. By seeing what others had done, I understood that there was room for me to do as I can do. Odd, childish, and distorted thought is embraced by the arts.
Besides artists, the two important groups of schizophrenic achievers who I look to are published writers and maverick website creators.
Bill MacPhee is the publisher & creator of "Schizophrenia Digest". It is a high quality magazine designed for people who have schizophrenia.
MacPhee chooses to frequently publish short articles by persons with schizophrenia. It's great fun to see what these writers look like, pictures of them sipping coffee in a New York City bistro or standing in the middle of a stream fly fishing. And then, how I love to read their crisp, clean prose.
"Look", I think, "they wear ordinary clothing. And Look! They can think straight, they write coherently."
At first I called the creators of independent schizophrenic websites, the "Boy's club". All I can guess is that most schizophrenic women don't have the computer skills or home P.C. needed to make a website. Boys like electronic toys, so they lead the way on the internet. While there are numerous single page schizophrenic websites, in order to be a member of the Boy's club you must have a substantial amount of quality content. Two of the Boy's club are professional computer programmers.
There may be another reason why boys lead the pack. This disease makes it difficult to learn new skills. Because of it, everything you have been taught or independently explored before the onset of the illness becomes very important. They are the first skills to recover. And they will be the skills that you most desire because when you use them they connect you to good memories of health and ability.
The members of the Boy's club are spread out round the globe. Ian Chovil is Canadian, Bono is German, and Stand lives in South Korea. In the United States Jason Ratcliff if on the West Coast, Zachary Odette is in the midland, and I am on the East Coast.
It was my female website, schizophreniaandart.com that was first to crack the Boy's club. But unlike the self-taught or professional computer programmers, in order for me to gain access to the internet I am completely indebted to the computer skills of my brother. I stand on the shoulders of a man. My is a simple example of the old adage, "Two heads are better than one."
It is important to know that everything done by the Boy's Club was done on their own initiative. Their writings about schizophrenia were not influenced by drug company money or the politics of government health care. Their integrity and honesty is not for sale.
The one influence that none of us can escape is our moment in history. Even in a global society, psychiatric theories of mental health and mental illness don't vary much. In most well read societies any schizophrenic is influenced by the theory of chemical imbalance and genetic inheritance. None of us hold any degree in psychology. But there are times when we see ourselves as if though the eyes of a contemporary, conservative psychiatrist. The originality of our writing is in the telling of who and what we are, rather than our theories of why we are.
The members of the Boy's club who I would most like to write like are Ian Chovil and Zachary Odette. During my preparation research into the content of the journal "Psychiatric Services" I discovered a "personal account" essay by Ian. It is titled, "Help-Seeking Preferences of High School Students: The Impact of Personal Narratives" and can be read on-line in the August 2004 issue.
This article confirmed my impression of two years ago. Ian writes with charming vulnerability. His account of psychotic thought and misadventure has just enough objectivity and dry wit to keep us hooked. Sometimes reading this type of narrative can be sad and overwhelming. Apparently most writers cannot tell a good story if they are emotionally over-involved. The poets Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton would be examples of writers who can use the pain of their mental illness effectively. There is great skill in making the reader feel pain, because most readers do not willingly allow themselves to feel another person's pain.
Ian is a gentleman. He always remains aware of the polite "I - thou" perspective.
In a recent email to Zachary Oddett I said, "You horny devil!" and that made him laugh. Zachary is at the wild age of twenty and he has a lot of hormones cruising through his body. Sometimes Zachary doesn't understand what a delightful, typical young man he is. On his webpage you are greeted by this proud banner;
Part of Zachary's gift to the world is his courage to love life and pass on knowlege to others. I think he knows, on a gut level, that "knowlege is power". The drinking and drug binges worry me a bit, and this fellow still has the hard task of finding a place for himself in the adult world. But for now he has created a website where research into schizophrenia carries the exact same importance as pretty girls, school, two overweight beagle dogs, and the fantasy video game, "Mortal Kombat". As Zachary updates and expands his website the quality and variety of his links and posts improves. The young man is relentless in his effort to reach out into the world and bring home new knowledge and new information.
Hats off to you Zachary, I can't wait to see what your future brings.
The following is a list of websites that connect to people and information quoted in the above essay.
Psychiatric Services Journal - http://psychservices.psychiatryonline.org/
Ricco/Maresca Gallery - www.riccomaresca.com
Ian Chovil - www.chovil.com
Zachary Odette - www.zacharyodette.com
Stand - www.h13.com
Jason Ratcliff - www.angelhaunt.net/schizophrenia/
Bobo - http://home.arcor.de/pahaschi/welcome.htm
Posted by dignifyme
at 4:29 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 21 September 2005 3:05 PM EDT
bright
The first sketch for the marriage picture was made just from my imagination and I like it the best. In it I tried to do a rough estimate of my own wedding dress. However, Mike was disappointed that the horse didn't look sexier in her dress. Of course he had no idea he was insulting my own gown. So I went to the library and looked at designer gowns in a Vogue magazine. And at that black tie event there were tuxedos too.
Mike never ceases to amaze me what he can teach me about affection. He once warned me, "you can break a kitty-cat's heart" when I left the new cat from the rescue pound in a dog crate for too many days. Logic says the cat is used to being caged, but as it seemed, she knew that she had been rescued and she desperately wanted to live with us. When I ignored her pitiful cries, yes, I was breaking her heart. At the time ignoring a little mewing seemed like the strong thing to do. But after Mike spoke I felt very ashamed about my former "strength". Unable to hear the need in the cat's voice for whatever reason, it really was a weakness of my capacity for love.
Mike and I will be printing a small icon of the cat and the horse on our wedding invitations. But the best part is that this image, once it is dry, (because it is made from oil paint and that dries slowly!) will be taken to a giclee printmaker. The thank you presents for all the guests at the wedding will be a 5"1/2 x 7"1/2 silver framed print of, "The Mystical Marriage of the Kindly Cat to the Nobel Horse".