Mood:
energeticThis morning I thought that I was doing everything right. I woke at 8:30am and had to be at the museum for my volunteer job at 11am. Plenty of time to get ready. Had to be careful though, with that little bit of free time I had to concider the state of my brain. There are certain activities that I do not do before my volunteer job. I do not read, write or make art. These activities are delightful and engaging. However, I'm going to have to be at my best during the three hours I sit in the museum at the information desk and I can't "peak" ahead of time. Carefully I orchestrate my morning activities so that I don't exhaust myself before I exhaust myself at my job. Activities that are acceptable to do before my job are light cleaning, like doing the dishes or grooming my dog, or watching television. These activities are not intellectually stimulating and at the most involve simple, repetative behavior. This morning I watched the movie "Evita". I like watching Madonna. I like looking at her arm and neck muscles.
All my clothing was color co-ordinated. The dog was taken outside to go to the bathroom. A fresh pot of coffee was brewed and poured in a thermus. Put make-up on and brushed my teeth and hair. But I forgot to eat breakfast and I forgot to take my morning medication.
Reality got pretty weird by the third hour I was at the museum. My palms were sweating. Time was going by very slowly, as if I were anxious about something. I felt like I was shaking even though I don't think I was shaking. And I had quite a bit of energy, I had woken up to a reality that was more off my medication then I was used to. Objects seemed sharply defined and I noticed color and texture more than usual. When the gallery was empty took a stroll around to look at the artwork. I'm used to the exhibit that was there but I definely saw more details in the art then I had ever seen before, it was like looking with a fresh pair of eyes. Leaving the museum I was afraid that I might trip and fall in the parking lot. By then I was definately shakey and my legs felt wobbly. Could have been low blood sugar but it also could have been withdrawl from my prescribed narcotic. As long as I take it on time I don't notice that I am addicted to it.
It is now evening and I still feel weird. London and Mike were talking and I kept wringing my hands. I think I got stressed out from being off my medication schedual by six hours, and now, I am going to finally settle down by taking a pinch more narcotic. And maybe eating some ice cream.
