Mood:
happyYesterday I watched the old black and white movie, "The Fountainhead". It was based on the book by Ayn Rand and the screenplay was written by Rand. The characters were so stiff and everything coming out of the character's mouths was the core thoughts of her philosophic movement. As a writer Rand was passionate and focused on her ideals. The whole plot of the movie and the book came straight from her view of life.
So it got me thinking, what is my view of life? Do I have any ideals? I am what happens to a person when they are trying to survive one day at a time. There isn't any fat. There isn't any spare time to work oneself into a systems of beliefs, wether that is beliefs that are already established or beliefs that are new to the world. You become instead a sort of sensualist, where immediate experience and immediate gradification fullfill all your needs. I don't mean that you live a life of debouchery. You simply live in the moment, whether that moment is full of pain or pleasure.
I am sitting on our new couch. I gave me pause when Mike said, "That is three days worth of work", meaning it would take him three days of work to pay for it. I absolutely wanted a used couch. We looked in an antique store and found a mediocre couch, we looked in a used furniture shop and they only had three couches to choose from. Two had patterned fabric and would have not gone so well in my work room. My work room is already swimming in colors and pattern. The third couch was golden yellow and seems to be from the 1950's or 60's. I would have prefered a blue or green or dark red couch but when you buy something used you can only get what you find. I said that the gold couch had my name written on it but Mike said, humor me, let's go to a new furniture store. They were having an end of year cleareance sale but the prices were still shocking. The couches were beautiful and they could all be made to order with the exact fabric you chose. But as we walked through the store I was rather horrified thinking of spending so much for a couch for my work room, a room that is created for a woman who can't work and bring in any income of her own. That thought is never far from my mind, that if I want anything it comes from Mike's earnings. Of course I do make things in my work room, artwork and writings like this post. Mike has his library room and I have my work room, separate places where we each pursue our creative projects and decorate as we please. If I made a lot of money then I might buy a new couch. But since I don't make money and only spend Mike's money it was essential that the couch be used. It is a matter of dignity. Some women would only be pleased if their couch was new. I would only be pleased if my couch was used.
We put the yellow couch in the back of our car, hanging out the hatch door. All down the street to our house while I held onto the arm of the couch I pleaded and prayed to God that a policecar would not cruise by. I didn't want to pay the extra $20 for the seller to deliver with his truck. Happily the used furniture store is only one long block from our house.
Today is a day off from writing my book. Mike and I cleaned but we ran out of paper towels so I still have dusting to do. My big chore was to change the cat litter, Mike vacumed. My next big chore is to take a shower and go to the grocery store for more paper towels. I might also putter around my work room, we have just converted it from a bedroom. The house was in disaray when London moved out and Mike and I moved back into her bedroom where we had started from. My greatest thrill is that I have my work table under the window with eastern light. It had been sitting with a southern exposure and the light there was too harsh for me to use. The eastern window lets in a difuse light, it illuminates but never is blindingly bright.
My first project in my work room is going to be some painting on glass. I am very excited. My mornings are to be used to write my book and my evenings are to be used to work on glass painting and blogging.
Hurah for my work room now back in working order.
