Mood:
not sureTopic: family
Arrived home late last night. Wednesday I drove down to Connecticut to help my Mom find a dress to wear to my sister's wedding in two weeks. We found the perfect dress. Mom looked like a royal queen. But she can't eat any sugar right now - the dress fits on her body very snug. I got a dress too, but mine is light and airy. My underware cost more than the dress, but Mom kindly paid for it. Without me she would have had a very hard time finding something so nice. I ran around the stores picking out and holding all the dresses, checked their sizes, getting a new size if required, and putting them back on hangers.
I don't know how to feel about my life. Having a sister who is getting married in a church in a lavish dress with a tiny waist to a man who's career is skyrocketing and pals around with multimillionairs makes one reflect on one's own circumstances. I'll be very lucky if I get to keep all my teeth in these next ten years. Shopping in Connecticut reminded me of the best benefit of money; you can pay to be around people. Shopping malls, bookstores, and resturants are all places I used to go to in my first marriage to be around people. My depression is very old fashioned - I'm lonely. I've got a great husband and I love my dog and his daughter. I love my art, making it and planing it and dreaming of a future where I get recognition. So why the empty hole in the middle of my body? I am baffled.
